My heart goes out to the Brandon family. Sincere condolences on the loss of your son.

My deepest sympathy goes out to the Brandon Family. I remember Connor back in the days of Douglas School. Heartfelt sorry to his parents and his two brothers, Ryan and
Devin.

Our son Joe is 21 years old an addict. He stole money from us today in order to get drugs. I am his mother and devastated by his problem. Awareness and immediate intervention is necessary for these young people. Primary care MD's need to be educated in order to get help for them quickly. It's not about making their quota's and doing little to help...early intervention is needed as soon as a problem is identified. God bless Connor...he went right into the arms of God.

I'm finding elicit drug use is rampant among Acton high school students. Why do people put up with it? Everyone here seems to tolerate it. Wake up! The Acton PD needs to severely crack down on the dealers in town who are hooking the kids, even if it's "just pot" as they love to say around here. Every drug addict out there started with "just pot." A dealer is a dealer, whether they are peddling pot or oxy or meth. The residents of this town need to demand a drug sweep, and the courts need to severely punish the dealers. If I were this kid's parents, I would hunt down the people in Acton who got him hooked, drag the Acton PD into the mayhem and get your day in court. May God bless his family and friends and give them the strength to get through this, and, the courage to fight this blight in Acton.

Its easy to point a finger at Acton PD, the school and anyone else that should be "responsible" for the drug problem in our towns. Bottom line...Parents need to wake up and start parenting their kids. Many parents in this town know that their kid smokes "pot" or get "high " but prefer to look the other way. It's easy.They catch their kids drunk or high one night then give them the keys to the car the next morning. And the money. Where do you think the kids get the money to buy this stuff. Parents! They hand out $ like it grows on trees. It's a small town, parents talk to each other and are watching but sadly parents don't want to hear or do anything when they are informed that their child does drugs. They simply ignore it. Don't blame the school, they aren't the parent. Don't blame the police, they are trying to clean up the mess parents should have cleaned up years ago. My heart aches for this family and I hope the parents in this community wake up, honestly look at what their kids are doing; take control before another child has dies a sensless death. It's hard to do the right thing. We're all tired at the end of the day, with little energy left to fight those difficult battles with our kids but these are battles parents must fight. We must start holding our kids accountable for their actions, punish them as appropriate and follow through. We have to stop being our kids "friend" and start being their PARENT! Our children deserve that! Our town deserves that!

This sad death is HARDLY Acton's first wake-up call.

The problem is that a huge percentage of Acton's parents did drugs at some level in their youth, and are VERY dismissive of the potential consequences.

Kids get caught with open containers, with drugs in amounts to be classified 'for sale', and they don't even get kicked off the teams – in some cases even retaining their captaincies.

So the drug-tolerant culture has offered up another human sacrifice to arrogance and hedonism. Whose child will be next?

Do you love your kids enough to bring down the hammer? Or will you continue to play kid roulette: 'Oh, it won't happen to MY kid. Maybe somebody else's kid, but not mine!' Wake up; that OTHER kid is probably selling to yours!

When Acton / Boxborough parents get serious, they'll DEMAND the police go through the school and the parking lots with their drug-sniffing dogs, and let the chips fall where they may.

You can act, or await the next sad headline.

Thank you Marilyn for your comment. It is very true the ball is in the addicts court. A caring person can get them into rehabilitation and treatment. "How to help the one you love," by Brad Lamm is a great book to read.

Some of the comments here are very insensitive to the family. Let's please, please respect their loss for now. We can debate who is to blame and which Constitutional rights to give up later.

On the contrary Charles. This is the perfect time to have this discussion while the pain is fresh in our minds and before Connor's death becomes just another statistic. No one can deny the pain we feel for the Brandon family. Lisa Brandon wants this terrible experience to be a lesson to all and to shed light on drug abuse, drug use and prevention for our community. I think a town meeting consisting of parents, school officials, drug counselors, law enforcement.and Dr.s and kids would be very beneficial. How about an anonymous drug hot line for the Boxborough, Acton, Mayard, Carlisle and Concord area since this problem reaches all of these neighboring towns? I have a question...has anyone here ever called the schools or police to turn in known drug dealers however small time? How about the place of employment? I think drug testing should be mandatory at least for the local businesses that hire high school and college kids because this is where a great deal of selling is happening. To sit back and wait for someone else to do it is wrong. You may not be able to stop your kids from doing drugs, but you can get tough and tell them they can't live in your house any longer if they do and mean it. Tough love is called tough for a reason. Stop giving your kids money! Don't feel sorry for them by doing so. Working keeps them busy, helps their self esteem and gives them the tools to help them successfully launch into adulthood.

Oh, and if you know kids that are dealing or doing drugs TELL THEIR PARENTS!

Welcome words, Iron Mike.

Reverend E. Raleigh Pimperton III

My thoughts and prayers are with Connors family I can't even imagine what they are going thru. And hopefully they don't read all this bantering back and forth, why don't you all go meet for coffee and debate this...

Right, Mike. Because only LIBERALS do drugs. Seriously? I didn't see Connor's voting record published anywhere but you seem to think this is an appropriate forum to bring up politics? Regardless of the circumstances involving this young man's history with drug abuse, the bottom line here is that it has nothing to do with your inflicted political stance and everything to do with a very difficult issue for affected families to navigate. Your sarcastic commentary simply adds to the problem. And for the record, there are plenty of examples of "conservative" citizens with drug abuse issues as well. What's next on your agenda, suggesting Aids is a gay disease?

Knowing the Brandons personally, I know that they would applaud the conversation to raise the visibility of the drug epidemic to save others from their loss and pain. The idea of a community-wide meeting - response - hotline - all excellent and appropriate responses to this tragedy in our community.

I'll ignore your personal attack on me, and your uncalled for and out of context remarks about aids and gay people.

The issue Connor's death has once AGAIN brought to the forum is rampant teenage drinking and drug use in ABRHA.

There are a lot of parents in our town thinking 'there but for the Grace of God...' - even as they check on their own drug stash. It boils down to a simple equation – you CANNOT have your 'recreational drugs' – and expect all your kids to live to give you grandchildren.

Connor is simply this week's sacrifice. Your attempt to deflect attention from the PROBLEM by vilifying my conservative views will not restore life to him, - NOR will it help to avert the next teenage drug overdose. Conservative political views did not give Connor drugs at the Comcast Center.

Yes, I believe FAR more liberals are clients of the drug cartels than are conservatives. The voting records of Acton, Boxborough and nearby towns speaks for itself.

The QUESTION is Jerome, what are YOU going to do – as an individual, - and with your community – to address what's going on EVERY DAY in our very expensive high school? Are you willing to see some kids get arrested, - and maybe their parents too, - if it will save a few lives?

BTW, how do you think Connor was planning to get HOME from Mansfield? This tragedy could have been many bodies worse.

Communication is key. Parents need to talk about their child's addiction with other parents/family members of addicts. It is helpful and supportive. We all share the same pain and sometimes hear what we do not want to hear. In retrospect, we come up with all the what ifs and beat ourselves up but remember, "we did not cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it"...Al-Anon.

Iron Mike, you appear to contradict yourself on many points on this forum, but I'd like to call you out on one particularly ironic quip you made: "Yes, I believe FAR more liberals are clients of the drug cartels than are conservatives. The voting records of Acton, Boxborough and nearby towns speaks for itself." Voting to decriminalize, legalize marijuana for medical patients, or even legalize it outright would decrease America's and consequently Acton's reliance on drug cartels. Cartels are businesses, just like Donelans or Chipotle, whose desire is to make money, rather than get your kids hooked on drugs. If marijuana were legal, then the demand would be greatly reduced. The Netherlands' drug abuse rate is lower than America's and marijuana is legal for citizens of age to smoke there. I agree that cartels are bringing in harder drugs too, but marijuana is not the devil you make it out to be. We need better control over drugs like amphetamines, but they will require smarter policies than D.A.R.E. to combat them. Ignorance is the enemy of progress my friend... Educate yourself before you spew hate onto the community forum that should be honoring the life of my friend Connor

This problem is not just in Acton Ma. My son three yrs ago was dealing with his on drug use and depression when he was introduced to raves by local teens. We are from out of state and these teens were traveling to Southbridge, Ma for all night ravers parties. It was there they met a group of friends from Acton. Some where as young as 14 yrs. My heart breaks for this family and the loss of their son. My son has refused help and for several yrs has not lived with us. He told me he knew the boy who died. The use of "Party Drugs" has become a business where all ages, all night parties are promoted by their sponsors. Do some research, these so called concerts or shows are just a place for users, dealers and the curious to get together. Communities can do their best to stop the sale and use of elicit drugs and parents
can push their child to get help as well as use the tough love tactic but until towns that permit the promoters of the raves and festivals as are stopped, kids will participate in the the party. I will pray for this young man's family and all the families who pray that their child is not the next one.

"from the effects of several illegal drugs and alcohol" - let's not forget the alcohol part.

Interested parents may take a quick look at their kids' cell phones. I gathered tons of useful information from my child's text messages.
I passed this information to ABRHS. What they did with it, I do not know. My impression is that A/B parents and school are not very interested in publicly acknowledging the huge drug problem that afflicts our towns. How can an unacknowledge problem be solved? Hm, good question. Drug addiction may be perceived as a parenting failure or as a failure of the teenager, it is a shameful part of someone's life that needs to be hidden, that needs to be kept in the dark. Well, dear Acton-Boxborough parents not need to be so ashamed because you are not alone. Many AB juniors and most seniors are at some point using and/or abusing some kind of drug, alcohol being the most popular of all. We are all on the same boat.

We all are here for the same reason. We all want our kids safe and to know that law enforcement and schools are protecting our kids from illegal and harmful drugs but also that parents open their eyes and stop taking the easy way out by pretending drug abuse doesn't exist in their homes and community.
As long as your "kids" live in your home it is your right to search their rooms, cars, internet. Afraid that your kids might get mad at you? Tough. Did you know that the courts consider kids 17 year old adults?
Here's an amazing thing that happened over the weekend. I had information that I wanted to give to the Acton Police Dept...the better of two evils between Boxborough and them, pertaining to drugs and a connection to Connor's and the cop that I spoke to didn't have a clue who I was talking about or knew about the tragedy that took his life. Really? Also, Boxborough, Acton and Mansfield do not have an anonymous tip line in place. I asked if this would be an anonymous call and was told "it could be". Wow. If people don't feel safe giving information about drug dealers or manufacturer's of party drugs to the police, they are losing out on valuable information but the public must feel safe that information about them will not be given out to put them or their family in danger. Now what?

Have you gotten your fifty signatures Mike? Where will the funding for these frquent drug sweeps including State Police will come from? And marijuana filled town meetings? I know what I have done as just one person. I would like to know what you personally have done to try to improve things? Scaring people away with extremist comments isn't the way to go.

Yikes! How about you go down yourself to the California/Mexican border and join up with the other vigilantes and fight the war on drugs on the front line? Sounds like the next logical step from your perspective? Why think so small Mike? By the way, you never mentioned what you personally have achieved in the "war on drugs" in our little town? You told everyone else what you think they should do, but the only thing I read that you have done is worry that you kid would succumb to temptation while walking the halls of AB and didn't.......? I asked if you managed to get those 50 signatures since it is so easy as you said? Are you going to ask the mourners today to sign a petition? I mean since being "kind, gentle and smooth" is so negative. I didn't come here to battle it out with anyone, did you? Is this how you think problems are solved? Get right in peoples faces like a marine sergeant?
I'll be at the wake today to pay my respects to the family. How about you being more respectful of peoples opinions and stop attacking people for wanting to make a change at all? Enough already.

Mike, if your kid is not 21 - 22 yo yet and it's still going to college I would suggest not to assume that the worst is over, especially if he/she did not experiment with drugs while in H.S...

Sometime ago someone told me that if ABRHS drug problem became public, home values in Acton and Boxborough would go down and it was not fair for the the majority of people who lives here to lose money on their houses just because a minority of kids were doing drugs. Also, given the information that I retrieved from my son's cell phone, I made it very clear to the school that some of the worst drug addicts were playing varsity sports. It seems that the senior varsity players would introduce the younger varsity kids to pot and alcohol. I don't know if things have changed now, but at the time the school did not do anything at all, probably because several varsity teams were doing really good and it was important to keep AB's good name. I believe that the priorities in these two communities are misplaced.

Dear Q,
Please lay off the attacks on Acton Boxborough's varsity sports teams. As a parent of varsity athletes I find your comments personally offensive and I am sure that many other parents would agree. Simply because a child chooses to be active in their community through the joys of sport and competition does not mean they have the right to have their name be fouled by people such as yourself. Shame on you, while yes some athletes make the poor decision to destroy their bodies with substances it does not mean that all "senior varsity players" are introducing "younger varsity players" to bad decisions. It appears as if you are implying a forced consumption, which by definition is hazing. And if you are accusing many innocent student athletes of such a heinous crime then I believe you should be brought up on charges of libel. Because your child made a bad decision does not mean everyone of them has, and targeting athletes as a whole is out right disrespectful. Please, stay away from my kids and their friends who share a love of sport.

Dear John, I am using capital letters because I could not find a way to change the color of the words that I want to emphasize. So please calm down, read carefully and reflect before attacking me again: "given the INFORMATION that I retrievED from my SON'S CELL PHONE, I MADE it very clear to the school that SOME of the worst drug addicts (pot and alcohol) were playing varsity sports. IT SEEMS that the senior varsity players WOULD introduce the younger varsity kids to pot and alcohol. I DO NOT KNOW if things HAVE CHANGED NOW..." John, I seriously DO NOT KNOW what is happening NOW but I do KNOW what was happening THEN. My son and I gave all kind of useful information to the ABRHS administrators in an effort to make the school a safer place for all the kids, including yours... And now you are telling me that I "should be brought up on charges of libel"? Ha, how ludicrous! When do we start? After all, the more publicity AB's drug problem gets the better... although it may not be so good for the home values... LOL And just that you know, we informed the school about all the much more dangerous and addictive drugs that were starting to get into the school grounds, including cocaine and heroine. Has the school done something about it? I have no idea, but even if they actually wanted to do something, they surely must get a lot of crap from the know-it-all parents that abound in these two towns. Wish you and your family good luck!

@Mike
"Do NOT expect ANYbody in either town to take you seriously"
Yes, yes, yes... agree 100% with you.

"Getting fifty signatures is the easy part."
Getting 50 signatures could be viable.

"Organizing 1500 people to come to town meeting to DEMAND action..."
1500 people ?!? Forget it! As you said, getting people to go to such a meeting would be very hard. I even doubt that all 50 people who signed the petition would be able to attend. "Drug problem? What drug problem? My child may smoke pot once in a while, but that's not a big deal... It's normal at this age. Besides, everybody does it. Everybody but the varsity athletes, of course".

1500 people attending an AB football game is more plausible. That IS important. Go AB!!!!!! Pathetic...

"(The stink of marijuana fills town meetings.)"
The stink of marijuana fills -or at least used to fill- the High School hallways. I guess that teachers and staff were so used to it that they didn't even notice it. Dogs would have a hard time deciding what direction to take.

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”
― Aldous Huxley

I cannot even imagine

I've got your back on this one Q.

I'm not sure which 'John' attacked you in liberal knee-jerk fashion, - or if he is really 'John'. Several come to mind, and several are deeply involved in the drug and denial culture hereabouts.

So I ~ believe ~ his counter-attack and threats come from conscious or subconscious guilt.

There ARE teams at AB where the problem is nearly non-existent. But there are others where it's a BIG problem. We even had a hockey coach pulled over and arrested a few years ago – as he was leaving the rink.

In truth, I don't expect this tragic death to change much thinking or behavior. The grown-ups are socially and physically addicted, and their kids are learning all the wrong lessons from them.

Don't know if you've been here long enough to remember when the two kids were videotaping themselves speeding down an icy road – all the way into a tree? Or more recently when a 'star athlete' rolled his parent's SUV into a stone wall while attempting to outrun police? Ignore, - cover-up, - forget, - nothing to see here Folks.

Meanwhile, expect Town Meeting to raise your taxes EVERY year - 'because it's all for the kids'.

Anyone going to the town meeting tomorrow at 7:30? Speak up now or forever hold your peace.

As a recent graduate of ABRHS, I would like to put in my two cents on the school's drug problem, as I think I probably have the most relevant perspective. Drug are indeed rampid on campus. While the varsity teams are by no means the only culprits, drugs are definitely highly available to team members. Unfortunately the school does have quite a history of turning a blind eye to the sports teams with this particular issue, and they do not enforce the drug an alcohol policy that every team member is required to sign at the start of each season AT ALL. It IS a problem plaguing the school, and one that DOES need to be addressed.

I did everything I could to prevent my son ending up like Connor.
I searched his room/car, took away what I found and privileges of use of car. cut off the cash flow, informed other parents in the group who did not want to know, informed the school who watched the group all day everyday walk to the party house, I called the police, would not bail him out of jail ( the "party house" father paid!) asked him to leave home if he couldn't follow a few simple rules, I took him to therapy. Today he attended the funeral. I just hope and pray this tragic event will have some effect on him because if this doesn't I don't know what will.

This is more of a moment to talk with your kids than it is a moment to talk to your selectman. The education based on drawing a line with alcohol and cigarettes on one side and everything else on the other to tell kids not to cross it does not work when they find out that the line is arbitrary. It does not work when they are surrounded by peers who are thrilled by crossing that line.

The answer here is to talk with your kids. Teach them EXACTLY where the dangers lie. Don't use blanket statements. Use Connor's story as an example of what those dangers can do.

The famous party house and the enabling father... What a frustrating experience. Everybody knew what was going on in that house and no one could do anything. Not even the police. Unbelievable!

Iron Mike is a joke. Yeah it's a problem but turning everything into a liberal versus conservative debate is a freaking joke. This statement doesn't even mean anything: "Yes, I believe FAR more liberals are clients of the drug cartels than are conservatives. The voting records of Acton, Boxborough and nearby towns speaks for itself."... Dude you live in Massachusetts, in AB, basically in Democrat territory, of course there are more liberals here and as a result far more 'liberal clients'.

This is a bi-partisan, global issue, not a partisan one, you trying to turn it into anything just reeks of an agenda.

This is all pretty startling to read, as well as extremely sad. Years ago my husband and I had just moved to Acton. We were living on School Street in a condo and were happy to be invited to a neighborhood holiday party at Christmas time. When we arrived the woman who lived in the upstairs part of the house bragged that she was so high she had 'cotton mouth.' I remember saying incredulously, "but you have two children here." Her daughters were still in grade school. No surprise when ten years later her daughter was pulled over for driving erratically with pot in the car, stoned out of her wits with a minor who was also stoned. I don't think that all parents of kids who do drugs do them, but it sets a really bad example if they do. These young people are supposed to be our future. We'll all be old someday, (if we live long enough), relying on them for help and care. That's a scary thought. What is the school system waiting for, someone to die on campus? I'm very grateful reading all of this that my older kids avoided this stuff growing up and that my younger kids are in a private school. My heart goes out to these parents. God bless Connor Brandon's soul.

Katy, I know what you mean about parent's that preach and use. I knew a family whose kid went to Concord and was always preaching about god, got their kid into everything religious, punished him for breathing practically, yet the husband gambled away their rent money, Mom tried to kill herself with pills while her kid was home and smoked pot regularly but god forbid her kid did. Of course, her kid NEVER did drugs or drink, wink, wink.
Before I would let my kid go to a strange house, I would call the parent's to see if liquor was available, were guns locked up, medications and would an adult be home. I could care less if I offended or if they thought I was nuts. Many times a parent would say they had booze but they would be safe since they would drink at home!!!!!WHAT??????? Would actually buy six packs for their kids and friends!!! Now if you look on this kid's FB page, all you will see is him talking about already being drunk at 10am and smoking a "blunt" before school. Absolutely sickens me. Where were these parent's brought up and how? Why is drinking in the woods ok with parent's? Maybe being a two family income to have the big impressive house/summer home isn't such a hot idea? Ideally, when a child is growing up, hopefully at least one parent or grandparent stays home when it matters the most. I say ideally as I know this isn't always possible. Really hard on the single Mom's out there. Be a parent, not a buddy.

I would like to say when I went to the police they were frustrated at the lack of support from the parents. In the majority of cases the parents were rude, not interested and didn't see this as a problem. However, I wish more could have been done. Now it IS a problem, will anything get done? probably not.
FYI: the enabling father has moved from the town but I guarantee there are numerous other parents like him and numerous houses where this is going on.
Good luck.

As a former varsity athlete at AB, I can vouch that there are athletes that use drugs, but they're the minority. A lot of kids go clean because they care about success in their sports and in school. And I forget who said this, but whoever said that the hallways "reek of marijuana"? Get real. The vast majority of students are sober every single day of the year. Speaking in hyperbole doesn't help your case. I've seen captains come and go because of drug offenses, arrests and alcohol problems and I will agree that a culture of "don't get caught" exists, but suggesting that the athletes get off easier than the rest of the student body is just not correct.

B was right about the 'messed up set of priorities.' It's sad when you think about it that your whole sense of who you are is wrapped up in who you hang out with and how you perform on a high school team and then it's all over and all you take with you to college is the desire to party. I'm not saying that every athlete is living this way, but there's a lot to be sad about when young adults in this community value themselves so little that the drive to take drugs to continue to feel good is stronger than the desire to survive. From what I see on this feed there are so many parents who suffer with their.kids. Remember, you're not made real in the imagination of another person. You're made real in who you really are as a person. Ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone else in the world thinks of you because you live and die with yourself in the end. There are so many Moms like me, and Dads no doubt, who care a lot more about these young people than they know. If you ask anyone for help, chances are they're not judging you, and they'll do the best they can to help. We've all done things in life we're ashamed of. Anyone who pretends they haven't is a liar. Kids in Acton are valued so much by their parents and community. Look at how much we're all willing to pay in taxes to give them a good education and a safe community. Ask for help if you want to stop taking drugs and you'll get it. Don't worry what anyone thinks of you. It won't matter in the end anyway.

As a former AB student, you would be shocked about what goes on at that school. First of all people leave school to go to the woods to smoke/drink during school..do the monitors know that? i wouldn't be suprised...there is video cameras at the school. Drugs/drinking is everywhere at AB (buses,senior lot,hallways,bathrooms,football games..Ect) I think the school needs to do something about this! School should be about learning and getting an education, not about who has the best "deals" in town. Also, i think the police should stop worrying about people going 2mph above the speed limit and try to crack down this drug issue and get some type of program in. There is a lot of issues in the Acton-Boxborough community and shame on anyone who ignores these issues.

The email above was sent to "all" ABRHS parents. Notice that the Principal says: "we are expecting a large crowd" and "We could still use a few parent volunteers to help check families in beforehand." I went to that forum and I estimate that way more than two thirds of the auditorium was empty. What does that say about this community? The school and the police seemed to take the problem much more seriously than the parents. I commend "A Concerned Parent" -if you are who I think you are ;-) for the huge effort in trying to raise the parents' awareness.

Swampscott High School made big news last year. The school had organized meetings to raise awareness and to join forces with the parents in order to fight the HS substance abuse problem but it seems that not too many parents were showing up. So the school decided to have a "mandatory" meeting. This action was highly criticized by parents and some media. Did the school went too far? I personally think that the school had no other choice. Some parents were "extremely" upset which actually brought more attention to the problem... which ultimately is what the school wanted. Could ABRHS do something like that...? My guess is that there would be a lawsuit even before the school started to "contemplate" the idea of having a mandatory meeting.
www.salemnews.com/local/x1919699622/Tackling-teen-drug-use

Bad crash tonight in Boxborough involving two Acton teenagers. Jaws of life needed and helicopters used to take kids away. Anyone know anymore details???? Happened on Burroughs Rd earlier in the evening.

I worked yesterday evening, can someone let me know how the meeting went.
thanks

im sorry but you all need to realize that drug addiction is a disease of the brain that you as a parent or friend or whatever can do absolutely NOTHING about. an addicts brain works differently and by searching your childs car/room, calling the police on them, etc you will only push them further away from you and more into their drug use. by trying to control them you will not help them in any way whatsoever. an addict needs to find out that drugs are indeed bad and can even be fatal by themself, in their own way and time.

I believe that drug "use" is not a disease and it's done mostly for socializing, fun, experimentation, etc. Parents of drug users have a lot of leverage on their children's behavior. On the other hand, a person that becomes a serious drug addict/alcoholic is USUALLY using the drugs/alcohol to self medicate. I believe that a person that becomes a substance abuser had emotional / psychological problems before becoming addicted. That person USUALLY suffers or has a tendency to suffer from depression, anxiety, extreme stress, post traumatic syndrome, bipolar disease, ADHD, etc. <USUALLY> Given the fact that most adolescents are naturally moody, it is hard to know if a teenager's behavior is caused by emotional / psychological problems or not. A teen who has lost a parent or whose parents are divorced or who has suffered any kind of traumatic event early in life MAY BE at a greater risk. I agree with you that it is extremely hard to help a drug addict and that it may be counterproductive to try to control him/her. I still think that in many instances a young substance abuser can be helped.

I feel all of you Acton Boxborough parents should be ashamed of yourselves for not showing up to make a difference. All you are showing to the community and the school and police is that you truly do not care about your kids welfare. Are you REALLY to busy to make time for them. Even after such a tragic accident to a good kid who needed help you show your true colors. What does it take? Are you that in denial? One of your children will be next, it's inevitable. What will you do then? Wait for others to do something? Make an excuse? Get off your butts and make a difference. I don't live in Acton and am active in my town. Do you care? Do something. Talk and posting is cheap and does nothing.

TO: 'a concerned friend'

OK, you tried. TY! Do you know who Connor's suppliers are? Have you given their names to the police, - EVEN IF they are fellow students?

Would you turn in the NEXT person selling drugs – even if it is a fellow student?

This issue is NOT POLITICAL! It is a CLASSIC SOCIAL ISSUE. It pits 'I want' vs 'my future'. It's a question of dumb vs smart, misinformed vs knowing, ME! Vs Family & Community, evil vs good, and cowardly vs brave.

Although it's not 'politically correct' to say it, - some gene pools are notorious for being more easily addicted. [Don't think so, - go on an Indian reservation and see what alcohol has done to them]. Think about it – what did Mohammed know in the 6th Century that caused him to FORBID alcohol and drugs?

Some folks hereabouts want this all swept under the rug and forgotten. If you want to make a difference for the next kid, - stand up to evil, and drug dealers ARE EVIL.

IM....drug dealer who sold Connor drugs that contributed to his death has been turned in and charged with numerous counts against him. One drug dealer at a time...
unfortunetly the reality is take one drug dealer off the street and three more will take their place as long as there are buyers. Or, they will go where the dealers are just from word of mouth. Did you know you can buy drugs and god knows what else on a website called silkroad? One of the most dangerous things around. All they need is a computer, money and an address to mail you drugs. Not quite sure how they do it but the website has found a way to hide the trail. Google it. This is one way your kids are buying their drugs to eliminate getting caught buying directly from someone. Parent's...check your mail, don't let your kids have a key if one is needed.

Iron Mike mentioned the local public access TV station. The thought occurred to me that maybe the towns' local public access TV could be used to capture parents attention to the drug problem. Any idea?

What does the town do in our community. They allow random drug sniffing dogs on campus. They have a plain clothes police officer on campus (yes, they know who it is, it's a detterent, not the solution). Yes, there is a zero tolerence depending on the severity of the offense. They don't just get together and show up to protest property tax increases which total a few hundred extra dollars a year.

It seems the Acton/Boxborough parents are more concerned with image then the safety and welfare of their kids. If they truly cared, they would have taken advantage of the meeting, contacted local TV and investigative reporters and forced a difference. It's your community, demand a meeting. You have the control but if you sit back and wait for someone they won't come. There isn't anyone else. Stop waiting, the other person is YOU, do something! You elected the Selectman, Councilmen, you even supported the selection of the sheriff. They work for you and will do what you demand. This is so very easy. Get organized, get together as a community and demand change. You will do it to save a few hundred dollars a year in property tax but not for your kids life. Are your kids really worth less than a few hundred dollars?

What right do you have to complain about this when you do nothing but post words and not take action. Stand up for them and change it. Did you not move here because it's a safe community with a good education system and a nice place to raise a family?

@ Chuck Thank you so much for your reply.
A few more questions: Do you feel that your town's HS has a good handled on the drug/alcohol problem? Yes, No, So-so? From 0 to 10, how helpful do you think that the dogs and the police officer have been in deterring the drug issue? It would also be useful to know how big is your town's HS compared to ABRHS, in other words, how many students does your town's HS have?

Google "online drug selling" You will never feel so mad and so helpless all at the same time.

After reading through all this banter I find myself laughing at how ignorant and delusional some of you Acton-Boxborough parents are. I am willing to guess that most none of you know the true back story to Connor Brandon. I will tell you this, Connor was a intelligent compassionate individual. He attended a prestigious college institution last fall and in the matter of one academic school year he developed a drug problem. This problem did not start in Acton, he may have smoked pot prior to going to college but that is not the cause. I am not going to sit here and debate whether or not marijuana should be legal because quite frankly if you think it should be you are so far behind the societal norms these days its not even funny.
Acton does not have a drug problem. There may be kids who smoke constantly, drink underage, and a handful who experiment with hard drugs; however, in the grand scheme of things that is nothing. Please travel to the inner city or rural United States. Drug use is far more rampant in these parts and the substances being abused are substantially worse than a little bit of pot.
As mentioned previously in this forum by someone, the parents and schools need to teach kids which drugs to stay away from and how to safely consume alcohol. Teenagers are going to drink and some will try drugs. It is part of our culture and whether you like it or not it isn't going away. So stop fighting the tide and instead work with teens to educate them.

@ AB Students
Any idea why Connor developed a drug problem in the matter of ONE academic school year? Maybe alcohol and pot had lost their luster?
Also, first you said "Acton does not have a drug problem." and later on you say: "the parents and schools NEED to teach kids which drugs to stay away from and how to safely to consume alcohol."If Acton doesn't have a drug problem, why do teens need to be educated? Not attacking... trying to understand what you are actually trying to convey.
Peace.

My town is about the same size as Acton, it may be a little larger and more affluent. Ii would say no town has a good handle on it and at best maybe a 5 on a scale of 1-10. What we do have is parent and community involvement which helps. If that saves one life then it's worth it.

I agree with AB students comments that the majority of kids smoke only pot and it is the parents responsiblity to educate their kids. It's definitely not the resposibilty of the school. They have enough to do. The parents and community as whole is accountable. I wonder how many even lock up or hide their prescription drugs as that is even a larger problem. Preasure needs to be put on the Sheriff or Chief of police to make this a priority. The only priority I see with the Acton, Boxborough police department (more Boxborough) is they are busy sitting in the Holiday Inn hotel and gas station parking lots off the 495 and on their cell phones or texting while waiting for someone to drive 3-4 miles an hour faster then posted to write a ticket to try and generate revenue. Or, they are pulling over kids and harrasing them (I have seen this firsthand). The problem with the police there is that they only respond if when there is preassure to do so. Remember Boxborough PD doesn't have a vested interest in the community as they don't live there. The community has the vested interest.

^ [continued...] Kids will definitely jump through hoops to be able to drink at night. Dont want to your child to risk getting in trouble with the cops, get a DUI, etc..? Let them drink at your own house and supervise it. Because either way your kid will find a way to drink, one option being more safe than the other. You decide...

@Chuck Fiene

Im so glad you made that comment. I have seen the Boxboro police camping out near or around the Holiday Inn and surrounding gas stations waiting to ticket youths for extremely minor things (obviously you could argue they are breaking the law, yes, however - would they issue the same citations/tickets/etc if the driver was in there 30s and 40s...? No.

The reason people do drugs is because acton is so boring there is nothing to do at all. This town is horrible and the stress put on students these days is overwhelming. Aside from that there is nothing to do during the summer.

I just wanted to thank Jess for her valuable contribution here......? Wow.

Anyway, abstudent, I agree about the pressure to perform as a student but this is true for any well performing school, boring area or not. As far as nothing to do at all, I know kids that wish they had time to say that because they do after school clubs or sports or some even work two jobs because Mom and Dad don't fling money at them or buy them their own cars. I truly feel, no offense, that anyone no matter what age, that says there is nothing to do and it's boring, is just a boring person without imagination, drive and interest. If you are going to school the normal amount of hours, studying and doing homework like you should, maybe doing a sport and working a part time job, there isn't much time for boredom.
I know Connor was a pretty busy kid with school and sports and community service. He had his own reasons for drugs. Drugs are not the answer to solve your boredom. They actually just make you more boring. Not you personally as I don't know you.
I've known a fair amount of students from AB and most of them were very good students all going to very good colleges and are pot smokers. Somehow they manage to get things done. Probably because once they finished their first semester of college they realized the amount of studying and papers that needed to be done didn't work well constantly wasted. Unfortunetly, some got more out of control.

Ms. Mason. I'd like to thank you for your valuable comments. It's nice that our community has a stay at home mom who's dedicated her time to posting on all acton patch articles.

@Marilyn: "school" "studying and doing homework" "doing a sport" "working a part time job" = STRESS - COMPETITIVENESS - MORE STRESS. What about good, old, safe, plain FUN?

And what is it with this suburban obsession: "going to VERY GOOD colleges" which usually means going to very expensive, prestigious colleges? Is someone that goes to UMASS (Lowell, Amherst, Boston, Dartmouth) a lower human being than the one that goes to a prestigious well known university? And what about the people that go to a community college, are they still considered humans? And then I'll hear someone say: don't put down "very good colleges" just because your.... well, you know the rest... Whatever!

As a class of 2012 graduate of ABRHS, I'd just like to say that a significant portion of the high school's weed users are bright, motivated kids who do well in school and are headed off to excellent colleges (including multiple Ivies). Getting stoned once in a while is not necessarily a bad thing. I wonder how many anti-pot parents here drink alcohol (which is considerably more dangerous and addictive than marijuana).

alex, Think of it this way, even if your friends who get high graduate from college with accolades, who would you want treating your child, a pediatrician who smokes pot twice a week or one who doesn't? Who would you want protecting your community an MOS who is stoned while on duty, or one who is wide awake aware? Who would you want to hire to teach your kids, work at a daycare center, someone who is high a few times a week, or someone who is paying attention? One of my older kids is in the military. He gets tested without prior warning because other people depend on him to be alert. Who do you want driving the MBTA bus you're riding in, or the train your on, or the plane you're in, someone who's smoking pot sometimes, or someone who's made a point of taking care of themselves? As an adult you have a lot less to offer people if you're not taking care of yourself. If someone does get hurt because of you, the responsibility is yours. Why take the risk? Would you want someone willing to take that risk responsible for you and your family?

Katy G, valid point. But who's to say these people are high while on duty? I agree, I'd rather have a sober person on duty. But that doesn't mean they don't smoke off duty.

Also, yes it makes sense that the majority of people who continue to smoke as adults are probably the ones with "shakey lives". I completely agree with that. But we're talking about kids smoking, arent we? If you're in college and smoking it doesn't mean you won't stop when you begin your career. I graduated from ab years ago. Smoked all throughout college and now no longer have the time/desire to smoke. Although if I wanted to, I doubt it would have any negative impact on my life or career.

@jess, I understand that what you say is true. Philosophically speaking it's helpful to think of your life in terms of it being a finite entity. You're only going to be 19 for one year, only 14 for one year. You don't want to waste what are some of the most productive years of your life in terms of learning by putting yourself in a state where you are unable to learn. Given that your life is finite you wouldn't want to waste the limited time you have. During the years that a person is developing and growing their brain is going through periods of synaptic activation increasing their ability to learn in different areas of intelligence. An example of this is language. The years when your brain is most capable of learning a language are birth to about four or five. The years when many young people are getting high are years when abstract reasoning and abstract mathematics are more easily learned among other things. It's a waste of time not to utilize that learning opportunity. On the other hand, you're a young adult and how you conduct your life is your own responsibility. Connor made some tragic decisions, but the decisions he made were his own as an adult. If young people were held to a higher level of responsibility it might help them be more careful about what they do. You're not a child when you're 18, 19 and certainly not in your twenties. Owning your own actions is part of being a responsible adult. Peace.

I'm hitting the invisible "like" button for Katy G. I was shocked to see that Miss or Mr. Jess was an adult based on the childish and combative comments made here. But what do I know? According to "Jess" I'm just a stay at home Mom, lol! Got one part of that right....I am a Mom...are you Jess? Was one of your kids good friends with Connor like mine and most of is friends are? Or...is this just an opportunity to bash people in the most cowardly and inappropriate way possible? This was an important topic for me because of these connections and wanting this madness to stop. In two weeks we have had perfect examples made with the expense of one life and two kids seriously injured in the hospital due to alcohol and possibly drugs while speeding without seatbelts on crashing head on into a tree. I hope kids in this area will think twice before getting behind a wheel drunk and high. When you see how the victim will look once she is out of the hospital and if all her mental facilties are there, then....maybe it will have more meaning. Some justice was served by arresting someone that sold research chemicals and maybe more to Connor the day he died. This isn't a hobby Jess. It's reaching out the only way I know how. Now go ahead...make fun of it.

Katy, I remember the days in college when talking in the language of science made me feel cool and above everyone else. Have I ever taken an organic chemistry class? I graduated from UPenn medical school. You think you're talking to some kid who knows nothing about your (rather elementary) science talk? You're wrong. Who should we trust, the doctor or the nurse? (nurses aren't doctors).

Iron mike, I am extremely offended by your mindless rant. It's people like me that killed Connor? Are you kidding me? I graduated from a world famous medical school and now save people like Connor every single day. I smoked in college because it helped relieve the stress of classes and playing a D-1 sport. Almost every student in my medical school class smoked or had tried it. I stopped because I didn't want it to interfere with my patients. It never has. Maybe you should think twice before you accuse someone of being the problem.

Not going to make fun of that MM. I haven't been trying to "make fun" of anyone. Just offering my two cents, which are clearly different than everyone else's. A different perspective can be helpful every once and a while if you care to see it. I am with you, no kids in this town should be getting in a car when they aren't sober. I just don't think a lot of the suggestions on this thread are the answer. Read their text messages, go through their stuff, I don't think that helps. Why not be supportive of their choices and try to help them make the right ones by less invasive means? Most kids are going to drink in hs. Most kids are going to try marijuana. But it can stop there. They can do these things responsibly, and not try hard drugs. Ok, promoting these things isn't great. But offering to pick them up from any event no questions asked will likely have them think twice about getting into a car.

I apologize MM if I appeared to be attacking you. Maybe I was. I just strongly disagree with a lot of the points on here. I don't want other kids getting behind the wheel and putting people I love in danger. Maybe instead of strongly disagreeing we can try to work together to actually help solve this problem. Accept my apology?

jess, let me guess, you're a pediatrician. You shouldn't be so hard on stay at home Moms. If I didn't have to work to help pay the bills in my household I'd be a stay at home Mom. It's the hardest and best job you'll ever do.

We have a skate park named for a boy who was accidentally killed skateboarding on the road. Behind it, a beautiful athletic field is going in so athletes can learn the positive lesson afforded them by being on a team. Perhaps we could name it after Connor. That would keep awareness alive.

@ MM: is it official that alcohol and maybe drugs were involved in the accident or is it just the usual word of mouth ?

I can't believe what everyone is bickering and ranting about. Do you ever read your own posts? It's obvious everyone seems concerned and wants the best for the kids. Have you ever thought about taking all of that energy and time and putting it to good positive use so that you actually can make a difference. Everyone is on the same page here. Get together, make a plan, go to the town meeting and execute it.

Do you really care who said what? We all know right from wrong, our kids know right from wrong. They just make wrong decisions sometimes, okay most of the time and most are minor.

The only way to make a difference is to get organized, stop typing and start acting. It really isn't a difficult thing to do and if you save One kid then you suceeded. Isn't this what this is about?!

I forgot to mention that you have way to much time on your hands. Find a new hobby than running an extremist republican blog

Its funny how people think connor was drunk because I talked to his mother and they had a blood test done to him to figure out what was in his system and I asked her if alcohol was in his system and she said no. So basically whoever wrote any of these articles saying he had alcohol in his system at the time was adding false information which is wrong to do.

If you truly are thinking of honoring him by naming something after him where do you stop? There are not enough places to name after people who have died from bad choices. Funnythind is (not so funny) is that they all know the risk. Should we name 95/128 the Pablo Escobar Hwy? It does flow from Florida (now known as the Oxy Hwy). Maybe rename Nagog park (no ne can really pronounce ot) to George Jung recreational habitat after all he is credited with supplying most of the US with pot and then Coke. How about renaming the MBTA to the Timothy O'Leary transit authority, after all he to was credited with giving us an amazing colorful trip. Let's not forget Scarface (yes fiction but what an impact, every drug dealer seems to have the poster) so let's rename the AB Auditorium to Scarface theater. After all these are the pioneers, innovatators, the entrepreneurs who made all this possible.

Do you see how silly this sounds. Of course I'm not serious, just a bit of sarcastic humor.

Again, venting here and arguing with AB guy and other students who tell it how it is gets you nowhere. Listen to him, he is our kids age or close enough to have his finger on the pulse of why and what is going on. He doesn't like it, he is contributing important information to help. Use it and make a difference.

It's not the schools responsibility to parent. It's there responsibility to provide an education. Parents need to provide the education and parent. We are not are kids friend, we are their parents.

But it really doesn't matter how great of a parent you are as kids need to find their independance and in doing so bad choices are made that lead to unfortunate circumstances. It is the police that need to step up the enforcement though and take this much more serious. These are smart kids that are taking a risk with deadly research chemicals and don't know it. I heard that there are testing kits for this so if you are going to continue at least get one and test, the next life you save could be your own or your best friend.

If you are going to use, TEST EVERYTHING, TRUST NO ONE!

Iron Mike, do you truly know how people view you in this community? If you think more than half the town is in favor of what you say then you need a reality check buddy but actually you truly need one. You are just an angry old man with to much time on his hands who seeks happiness. Your extremist republican blog is quite hilarious to read. You cant even pay respects to Connor which is disgusting just because of your strong views against drug users. Connor's drug problem did not start in Acton, it started in California. Connor got unlucky at the concert because he was sold research chemicals which is the reason he is not with us anymore. There was no alcohol in his system so just stop saying he was drunk because he was not. Also drop all that stuff about how he could have potentially caused a huge accident on 495. I know for a fact he had a ride home and he would have gotten home safely and nothing bad would have happened. The person driving him home was sober as well. But like I said before you should get a reality check and see how people view your image because pretty much everyone does not view you as "the toughest father in Acton". They view you more as a extremist republican who stands outside the grocery store trying to rack up more votes for republicans. You are not a real human being for being so insensitive.No matter how right you think you are are or how much awareness you think you are raising you are just a sick man for using Connors death to promote your agenda

Why don't you two take your bickering to a new forum. This is not the forum for it.

Also, Connor's drug problem began 21 months ago before he went to UCSD. I think Lisa should know, just listen to her.

Anyway, this isn't about who is right or wrong. This forum is about staying on topic and having the incentive and guts to take action so this has less of a chance to happen to someone else. It's political.