Prom and Graduation Safety: Tips for Parents and Students

For the seniors at , prom and graduation are nearly here. Both events mark important rites of passage as teens take definitive steps toward becoming adults, and celebrate the childhoods they are leaving behind.

But while previous generations’ celebrations may have involved partying with friends while adults looked the other way, the prom night and graduation celebrations of today have become more complicated than in years past. Research indicates that the so-called celebration season—the months of April, May and June—is the most dangerous time for teens. In fact, a survey conducted by the Century Council indicates that a third of all car accidents involving teens each year occur during those months, and fifty-three percent of students surveyed report having consumed four or more drinks on prom night.

And while both ABRHS principal Alixe Callen and Detective Keith Campbell , youth services officer for the Acton Public Schools, said they don’t take for granted the fact that Acton has not experienced graduation- or prom-related tragedies, they know dangers of celebration season are as real here as anywhere.

“The end of seniors’ school responsibilities (along with) the celebratory nature of the season does cause an uptick in situations” involving alcohol use, said Campbell.

“We’ve been very lucky,” said Callen. “It’s probably a combination of vigilance on the part of adults, kids taking responsibility, and luck. But we absolutely feel a heightened sense of danger” during May and June.

A critical component of keeping kids safe, said Callen, is maintaining a strong adult presence at the prom, and providing safe after-graduation alternatives, such as .

And just as critical, say experts, is keeping lines of communication open. Some guidelines for continuing the prom/graduation safety of Acton’s students include:

Defining acceptable behavior, both at home and school. Callen sent a letter to parents of seniors in April saying that students “found to be in possession of or under the influence of alcohol or controlled substances during school or at school-sponsored events will be suspended from school.” As well, the letter says, “(we) have explained to the students, anyone suspended for this or any other Student Handbook violation will be prohibited from attending or representing the school at extracurricular functions and senior activities and may be excluded from graduation.”

And while different approaches work for different families, one parent said demystifing alcohol and its effects is one that has so far worked for her.

“I've always been very up front about alcohol use with my daughter,” said Sue Stewart, whose daughter is a senior at ABRHS, adding that “she understands that drinking is unsafe and illegal.”

Setting clear consequences. In addition to mandatory suspensions if students are found with drugs or alcohol, Callen noted an incident where alcohol was found in a limousine on prom night, which she said automatically breaks the contract with the limo, forcing kids to take the bus home.  “It’s good to remind kids that the limo ride is also a place where they have to be careful,” said Callen. And while consequences will vary from family to family, Campbell said parents need to lay out a clear message of what their expectations are and be prepared to mete out consequences if those expectations aren’t met.

Being aware of personal liability. While kids’ safety is the driving factor in efforts to curb prom- and graduation-night drinking, over time, increased liability for adults who provide alcoholic beverages has upped the ante, said Campbell. Social host liability—the legal term for the criminal and civic responsibility of a person who furnishes alcohol to a guest—was discussed at length at a , where participants were told that legally speaking, there is no gray area—21 is the legal age to drink, period, and anyone who supplies alcohol to minors is subject to serious consequences.

Communicating freely and frequently. Callen and Campbell agreed that communication is the most important factor to curbing drinking and ensuring kids’ safety. This includes communicating with children about expectations and boundaries during events and after-parties, as well as with other families.

“Every (family) has a different set of rules,” said Campbell. “If (kids) know what to expect at other households, they’ll be that much better for it.”

“One of the most important things is to communicate with other families about shared expectations and boundaries,” agreed Callen.

Stewart said she agrees that contacting other families is par for the course, should the circumstances warrant that step.

“Fortunately (my daughter) is not a big party kid, and her friends are not into drinking or drug use,” Stewart said. “But if she were attending a party hosted by a family that I didn't know, I would have no qualms about contacting them about their house rules.”

And the most important message of all to get across? That above all else, your child’s safety is paramount. While Campbell said that by and large, “kids are going to do the right thing” in terms of getting home safely, they also need to know that situations may arise that make them uncomfortable, and they may need to be assertive.

“It’s tougher for teenagers than we may realize to say things like ‘I’m not getting in the car with you,’ or ‘You’re going too fast,’” said Campbell.

But no matter what, he said, all kids need to know that their safety is everyone’s goal.

“That’s the main goal in any type of celebration, to make sure kids are getting home,” said Campbell.