(KIEV, UKRAINE, MARCH 17, 2014) -- President Barack O'Bama, while on a whirlwind tour of exotic lands with his wife, announced he is actually an Irishman in disguise. He was joined by Michelle O'Bama in the Ukraine, who also revealed deep Irish roots, having once worn a green dress in public.
The President made this startling genealogical admission with Prime Minister Yatsenyuk in Kiev, Ukraine, while addressing a large crowd excited to hear from the world's Beacon of Hope and Freedom. He reassured the crowd that the United States would stand with Ukraine and they could count on him. He also promised immediate aid to the beleaguered country.
He told the crowd that the U.S. was willing to provide hundreds of teachers to train Ukrainians how to speak fluent Russian. "All the Ukrainian Prime Minister needs to do is beg for help and the United States will provide it."....
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