Friday, August 10, 2012
A quarter of women say their relationship with their mother-in-law is bad or terrible.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend forwarded me a text exchange she’d had with a mutual friend: E: I’m sore from yesterday’s class. Lower back hurts and stiff although just got period, too, and that always seems to be the main culprit. Should be a fun family gathering this weekend with the expletive in town. D: Oh no! Low back can get tweaked with barre & mat stuff if slightly off. You know Susan will take care of you next time if u tell her. Hope you’ll come again. Sorry about the MIL visit. E: No no no!! Not mil expletive. I mean expletive as in my period! Oh gosh. I have seriously crossed the line when my friends r thinking I call mil a expletive. I’m practically crying laughing. Ah, mothers-in-law. I’m sure my friend D wasn’t projecting …
Monday, July 30, 2012
One expert says parents should begin the conversation as soon as kids can speak.
I was driving my 7-year-old to baseball camp last week when I realized, too late, that Matty in the Morning was interviewing a woman with two vaginas. I’m pretty sure my son, on the other hand, caught on from the first reference—having superhuman radar when it comes to all things genitalia. No sooner had I heard “one in front and one in back” and “there could be two pregnancies” and “could the child go down the dead-end,” when Finn piped up: “What does a vagina have to do with pregnancy?” “We’re here!” I replied. What I should have told him: The vagina is the orifice out of which babies are born. Except probably without the word “orifice.” Apparently, this is a subject on which kids aren’t very clear. The son of one of my friends thinks …
Friday, July 13, 2012
Some of Acton Patch's best Mom's Talk articles.
1. Are You Part Of The ‘Mommy Porn Revolution’? 2. Is Your Child’s Sports Career Decided At Age 6? 3. Moms Talk Q&A: If It’s Considered OK to Have a Glass of Wine, Then Why Not Some Pot? 4. Moms Talk Q&A: Do You Make Your Kids Go To Church? 5. How To Stop Your Wife From Having An Affair This Mother’s Day
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
One working mother’s warm-weather musings
Did I put sunscreen on him? Guess I’ll know when I pick him up. Cancer vs. easy spray sunscreen, cancer vs. easy spray sunscreen, cancer vs. easy spray sunscreen. Is that a tick? Did I ever pay for that baseball camp? Did I even sign up for it? Suck it up, call the baseball dude and admit you’re a disaster. GET ANOTHER HEALTH FORM FROM THE PEDIATRICIAN. Wait. Am I doing drop-off or pick-up today? Bring extra car seat, bring extra car seat, bring extra car seat. Probably should just invest in a label maker. Damn, it’s hot in here. Remember to call the AC guy. Remember to call the AC guy. Remember to call the AC guy. Is that a tick? Crap. Tennis camp canceled! Must find something else. Is a 7-year-old old enough to take care of a 4-year-…
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Is potty talk really so bad?
I took my 4-year-old into the ladies room at Fenway Park a few days ago. After waiting in a long line, we both went into the stall on the end (a detail that will become important in a few sentences). He availed himself of the facilities first. And then it was my turn. Not content with waiting patiently for LESS THAN A MINUTE, Lucas occupied himself—just out of my reach—by playing with the lock on the door. You can probably see where this is going. The dozens of women lined up directly opposite our stall saw something else. Something they may not recover from. Or maybe that’s just me. And what they heard, as the door swung open and I frantically yanked the hem of my shirt lower and yelped at Lucas to SHUT THE DOOR, was my angel loudly …
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tens of thousands of women decide to cheat the day after Mother's Day.
Do you know who Ashley Madison is? If you do, you’re probably either: a) a follower of news related to Rush Limbaugh and/or Tim Tebow, b) a friend of James Woods or his ex-girlfriend or c) an adulterer. The Ashley Madison I’m referring to is not an actual person. It’s an online business whose motto is “Life is short. Have an affair.” More specifically, “the most recognized name in infidelity” connects married people interested in getting to know each other in, well, carnal ways. On an average Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women sign up to offer their, uh, services, says AshleyMadison.com co-founder Noel Biderman. On one Monday in May last year, however, 31,427 women joined the site. What was special about that particular Monday? It was …
Friday, April 27, 2012
There are 363 people on the waitlist for the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey” at the Acton Memorial Library.
If you were chatting about playrooms with other moms this time last year, you were probably discussing things like train tables and miniature kitchens. Maybe chalkboard walls—if you’re fancy. These days, playground playroom talk is just as likely to feature whips and blindfolds. You can thank E.L. James. The first-time author (and mother of two teenage sons) penned the erotic book “Fifty Shades of Grey”—featuring, among other steamy things not suited for Patch.com, the “playroom” of central character Christian Grey. At 27, Grey isn’t exactly a kid, and although his playroom does feature a swing and make-believe props, they’re not the kind you’re going to let your toddler near any time soon. Grey is your typical devastatingly handsome bad …
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Three tips for removing yourself from your kids' battles.
This morning, my friend Denise was marveling about how productive she was yesterday after work: “After I got home, when usually I’m totally exhausted, I made a lasagna, did two loads of laundry and prepped everything for another dinner. And I could’ve kept going—it was like I was on speed!” “So were you?” I asked. “Was it Adderall? Did you take a nap at lunch? Stop at Dunkin’s on the way home? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET AND WHERE CAN I BUY IT?” And do you know what it was? It was the little-known, black-market pill called HerBoysWereAtBaseballPractice. Normally, from the second Denise walks in the door, she is assaulted by the sounds of sibling rivalry: bickering, wrestling, stomping, throwing, slamming and screaming. It’s the same soundtrack …
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Child development experts say lying is actually a good sign. Kind of.
Just so you know, my 3-year-old never wets his pants. He’s just sweaty. And if you push him on it, he only becomes more adamant. Me: “It’s okay, sweetie, no big deal at all—we all wet our pants sometimes.” Lucas: “Even you, Mama?” Me: “Uh, yes, absolutely. But more when I was 3.” Lucas: “Oh. Well I don’t do that. I’m DEFINITELY just sweaty.” If that seems suspicious to you—and you dare to suggest that his sweat might not be quite so fluid, nor copious, and that maybe he should consider putting on new pants—well, watch out. The fire of a thousand suns will power his ire. There will be foot-stomping and body-throwing (his own, but only because yours will be hiding, crouched on the floor of a closet)—and before you know it, there will be a …
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A new book suggests that the Tiger Mom is wasting her time.
I have the Tiger Mom’s book, which a friend passed on to me several months ago, but I’ve only gotten so far as to crack open the cover slightly and squint at the first few pages with one eye closed. I’m afraid, I suppose, that I might see a chapter titled “Why Every Parenting Decision Sarah Corbett Makes Is Wrong.” Or, in author Amy Chua’s parlance (otherwise known as her preferred word-choices when scolding her daughters): “Sarah Corbett is a Fatty and Also Garbage.” The problem is, if I saw a chapter like the first one (and some days the second one, let’s be honest) I’d probably believe it—or at least worry that it might be true. Because (founded or not), guilt is one of the most oppressive characteristics of parenting for many of us. …